I don't can...
somehow I think that what I feel now is not real, is something that perhaps should not feel and something that ... not part of me and all this fucking time should not be for me ... Finally accept the fact and it hurts me to remember every situation, time and circumstances in which the fate cruelly took care of us deal with these contradictions.
I would not think about it, I insist, but pride and I play against is weakened by that simple fact, which over time has become a hell that is already part of myself.
I love you, but do not understand how or why ...
And I do not feel the desire to lose the illusions easily ...
Someday maybe I'll understand better, and perhaps exceed it ... For now, I keep thinking that one day I will get to be with you and just being able to hug, or tell you how stupid and unconvincing when you hate and do not want to see you ... While this is generally not as if you were thinking at the time, but then I realize what I say and not really so as it was ... It's quite a wallow of emotions that are not tied well and end up collapsing into the sea of contradiction.
I love you ... I said it again without intention, but I know that if you face as a serious dijiera able to send me to hell, wishing somehow that I rot in it, and I will not say I would think the opposite way, because I really if I get to witness such a situation I can send it all to hell, in general ... But I will attempt to keep the margin, I guess ...
collapse and do not want to get ridiculous again, no ...
But I can not help this fucked up feeling overworked and intolerant to me. . .
I do not can ...
Although it was my birthday, a good time ... medium ... this day with some other stupid who came to spend some time love me ... Really I love them, but I have a strange foreboding ... I do not know yet, but over time we may ask the thousand and one good point which I'm not sure, and maybe you can channel and to further clarify my thoughts on many things ...
See ya ... And thanks for everything.
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